We Don't Get It

Wow. Tozer could be harsh sometimes! But that doesn't mean he wasn't right, because he was.

I think one of the most frustrating things to me is when Christians either don't pray and ask God what He wants or actually hear God and know what He's saying but refuse to obey.

I'm a big fan of asking God what He wants and hearing His will for my life. I want everything that He has for me and I know He will lead me perfectly. I believe He is an excellent leader (despite my moments of doubt) and I trust Him with my life. So it bothers me when other Christians don't live this way.

Just as a side-note, I've realized (especially lately) that there are very few things that bother me and that I am passionate about, but this is one, so I am giving myself permission to be frustrated by it and to share my thoughts with you, remembering what Paul Scanlon says, that 'Your complaint is your call,' which means I have to do something about my frustration. And so I write.

I had a Spanish friend who told me once of a Spanish saying that goes: 'Mas vale malo conocido que bueno por conocer,' which roughly translates to something like 'Better known evil than an unknown good,' or even 'What you know/have that's bad is better than what you could have that's good.' (I'm sure it's vastly more eloquent in Spanish.) At the time he told me about it I thought it was completely ridiculous. Why in the world would someone choose to keep the bad that they have rather than trade it for what has the possibility of being better? But as I've thought about this particular conversation, I realized, we do this all the time.

How often do we settle for less than God's best? How often do we choose to stay where we are, in the boring and fruitless but familiar (pit?) rather than follow His leading into the unknown and potentially beautiful and miraculous?

And why?? Why do we do this?

I think it's because we don't know God's heart.

We don't know that everything He does, He does out of love for us. We don't understand that He is Abba Father, that He is Daddy, and He is overwhelmed by us and totally in love with us. We don't understand that He is passionate about us and desires our good and our prosperity in Him. We don't actually get the fact that He is always with us and He will never leave us, that we don't have to walk this path alone and that He will provide everything we need along the way. We don't have a clue that everything in the universe He not only made but also owns and that He is happy to share it with us if we ask. We don't realize that He is the Giver of good gifts and that He wants to bless us and show us His incredible favour, doing more for us than we could possibly ask for or imagine. We just don't get it.

So, as frustrated as I've been, really, I'm also sorry. I'm sorry for those among us (myself included sometimes, I admit), who don't grasp the concept that Daddy is absolutely committed to our good and completely devoted to walking with us, providing for us, caring for us, loving us, and helping us become more like Jesus every moment of every day until we see Him face to face. And that makes me sorry that we don't do what He says. Because what He says is essentially, 'Come with Me.' This is an invitation to adventure, where our lives here on earth reflect the beauty and the glory and the majesty of who God is, which as a reality, is more fascinating and exhilarating and magnificent than anything we, in ourselves, could ever hope to imagine. That is what Ephesians 3:20 is all about. That is the life that God has for us. And that is the life that we miss out on when we don't 'do what He says.'

What He's Doing

Have you ever found yourself in the place of saying, 'God, do whatever You want; just DO something?' Perhaps you've experienced a season where you were in a situation you couldn't find your way out of. Maybe there was no way out. Maybe, despite the hours and days and weeks you spent turning the problem over and over and over in your mind, you could never find the solution. Maybe there was no solution. And so you prayed, 'God, do whatever You want; just DO something!' Perhaps at that point you didn't even care what the outcome was, what the 'solution' was, as long as the situation changed, as long as you weren't stuck where you had been for so long, in that tension, in that place of not knowing, in that pressure, in that room of no resolution.

I've been there. And I've been reflecting about being there and about how I asked God to just DO whatever He wanted to do, one way or the other. I had an opinion about which way I wanted the situation to go, but the situation was way beyond my control and I could not make what I wanted to happen, happen.

I thought about it a lot though, too much probably. It pained me that the result I wanted, the one that I thought God spoke to me, didn't seem to be coming. Ever. No matter how long I waited. So I thought, disastrously, 'How can I change my situation?' I wanted out, not caring that the thing I really wanted was on the other side of the waiting, not caring that I knew I would be forfeiting something I really wanted and the thing I believed God wanted to give me. So I thought about how I could essentially sabotage my situation.

Fortunately before I did that a very dear friend said clearly, 'DON'T!' which was what I needed to hear. So I didn't. But in the situation, I was so desperate for change that I came to the point where I didn't care what happened. I knew I would look back and regret my decision, but in the moment, the pressure and the pain were so real and so intense, I didn't really care what the outcome would be, as long as I wasn't stuck in that place. But, because of her one word, I chose not to act but to let God DO what He wanted to do.

I realized not long after that, that as I kept asking Him to DO what He wanted to do, He already was. Because what He really wanted to DO was the work He was doing in my heart in the midst of the waiting, with the help of the pressure and the pain. He was using the lack of resolution and the lack of progress and the lack of light at the end of the tunnel to work on my character, to work on my heart, to work on the depths of the inside of me, and to work on my relationship with Him. He was working. He was DO-ing. I just couldn't see it.

So often that is His way. I think the majority of what He DOES for us, we are not able to see. But there's part of me that thinks He delights in giving us glimpses of the things He is doing that we cannot see, because He likes encouraging us along the road and He likes it when we get excited about what He's doing for us. So in the process, when we cannot see, when we don't know what is going on, when we don't know what He's doing or even IF He's doing anything (which of course He always is), perhaps what we should ask Him is just to give us a glimpse, a hint, a peak at the great things He has in store for us. I think that's fair to ask, seeing as we are His Bride, His partner, His Beloved and His desire is that we would join with Him in what He's doing. I believe He wants to share these things with us, probably more than we even know, but perhaps only if we're really willing to ask, to seek, to knock, and to search them out.

It is the glory of God to hide a matter; to search out a matter is the glory of kings. ~Proverbs 25:2

Thanks K

So, in a discussion with my Pais mentor, we were talking about writing, as it's one of my callings and goals in life and she helped me realize that I write out of a sense of tension. My word for it was 'frustration,' but I like hers better because it's slightly more positive. But it's true; when I write a lot, whether it's on here or in my journal, you can bet it's because there's tension, aka I'm frustrated. Usually there's tension because someone is frustrating me. And usually that someone is a specific someone.

This person (who we'll call K just to keep things simple) frustrates me more than anyone else in the entire world. K baffles me. K thinks nothing like me. K doesn't live life like I live it or how I think it should be lived. K causes tension in my life. Not between us, but between me and God.

That's because God uses K to show me more of who I am in relation to Him. God uses K to reveal to me that the things that K does that frustrate me, I also do (#conviction). God uses K to cause me to think about what I believe and why. God uses K to help me realize how I want to live my life before Him (and am currently failing) and how I want to relate to Him (so much better than I actually do). God uses K to bring me closer to Him.

I've thought about this before, but not to this extent until right now, so you're getting entirely fresh thoughts (that really just confirm what I thought before). As much as K frustrates me, K has been a massive gift to me and I'm thankful K is part of my life, even though it's rarely easy. K gives me something to think about, something to wrestle with, something to talk (sometimes complain) to God about. And when I do, I come out with greater understanding of who God is. That's huge. 

And out of all that comes the stuff I get to write, the material for the present posts and the future international best-selling books! :)

I'm going to admit right here (please someone remind me later when I forget) that I'm grateful for the tension and thankful for the frustrations and I will forever choose to see K as a gift that God has used to show me more about who He is and to give me stuff worth thinking about and stuff worth writing about. So really what I guess I want to say is, thanks K. I owe you a lot.

No Other Option

This is something I've been thinking about a lot lately in my own walk with God. Then I read something Bob Sorge wrote in his book Secrets of the Secret Place that confirmed what I had been thinking. Unfortunately, the book is at home and I am currently at work on my lunch break, so I'll quote Bob later.

What I've been thinking about is free will. I know many people have strong opinions about free will, including Christians, and I do as well. Maybe you will disagree with me, and that's fine, but here's what I think.

When you sign up to be a Christian, when you give your life to Jesus, you give up your free will. When you make Jesus the Lord (aka Boss) of your life, what He says goes. There is no saying 'No' at that point. To say 'No' to Him once you have initially said 'Yes,' in my mind, un-does the entire 'Yes.' When we say 'No' to Him, we are essentially saying, 'No, You're not the boss of my life; I am,' which completely contradicts His Lordship in our lives.

For me, I know there is something God has told me to do that, originally I didn't want to do. And I told Him no. I flat-out refused to be obedient to Him in that. But fortunately that didn't last long. My desire to be obedient to Him won out and I chose to say yes even though it was not something I wanted to do. Since then, He has worked in me and in my heart to bring me to the point where I want to do what He told me to do and even though it's been really difficult, I cannot imagine saying no to Him now, now that I've realized what saying no to Him actually means.

So for me, when God tells me to do something, and I feel convicted that He has in fact said *this,* I have no other option but to say yes. In saying yes to Jesus generally, I am obligated to say yes to Jesus specifically.

I have more thoughts on this, but I'll save that for another day.

He Doesn't Lie

So, I promised you two blog posts a week and last week there was NOTHING. I wouldn't blame you if you began to doubt my word about consistency in posting. Seriously. However, in my defense, we had our annual Swap conference last week, which is an international conference we both host and participate in. We had more than 100 delegates attend Swap from at least 9 different nations, which is amazing! So to say we were busy is a bit of an understatement.

That said, I will get on with today's post in order to fulfill my promise that there will be two posts per week. Yes, last week, I missed it. I didn't do it. I can't say for sure that I wasn't able to, but considering the circumstances of my life last week, it didn't happen. 

But with God, things are different. With God, when He makes us a promise, He delivers. Always. He doesn't ever have to say to us 'I missed it, I didn't do it, it didn't happen.' When He says He's going to do something, He does it. Numbers 23:19 specifically declares: 

God is not a man, that He should lie, 
Nor a son of man, that He should repent.
Has He said, and will He not do?
Or has He spoken, and will He not make it good?

For me, I'm just going to be honest, I don't understand this. This kind of commitment to His word baffles me because that is outside of my paradigm. He does not lie. HE DOES NOT LIE. I don't know anyone who doesn't lie, at least at times. I actually hate lying but I will admit there are times I don't necessarily tell the complete truth. And I think we're all like this. We all make mistakes. We all fail at times. We all mess up and we all miss it sometimes. But not Him. He does not lie. When He says He will do something, He knows what He is saying. He knows that He is entirely able to do what He says He is going to do, that nothing can stand in His way, and that He is absolutely willing to do it. So if He says He's going to do something, you can bank on the fact that He will.

This morning I read an encouraging message from Faith Marie Baczko about Psalm 138:8 which says 'The Lord will perfect that which concerns me.' She wrote:

The word 'perfect' is the Hebrew word gamar, which means to end in the sense of COMPLETION. The English definition of the word to perfect, means: to bring to completion; to finish; to make flawless or faultless: to bring nearer to perfection; to improve; to make better: to make fully skilled.

I don't know about you, but I take comfort in the fact that God has assured me in His word that He absolutely will finish what He has started. It's His promise. He doesn't lie, and He will do what He said He will do and it will be unto completion. It isn't a half-job. He doesn't get bored in the middle or change His plans half-way through. He said He will do it and He will, completely. 

I hope that encourages you. I know that I need that reminder today, that as I am in the midst of something I believe God spoke but I cannot see the finish line yet, I can believe Him and take Him at His word, that He will do what He said He would do, unto completion, and it will be all for Him and for His glory. 

Battles in the Promised Land

I had a revelation several weeks (maybe months) ago about the Promised Land and immediately thought—why did I never realize that before?? When the Israelites crossed over the Jordan River into Canaan, their Promised Land, they still had battles to fight.

The battles they fought were fought both BEFORE AND AFTER they entered their Promised Land. But when you hear people these days talk about entering our own Promised Lands, we speak as though that’s when we receive what we have already been fighting for, that once we ‘cross over,’ then the battle is finished and we get to rest. But that’s not the way it was for the Israelites. And if it wasn’t that way for them, should I expect it to be that way for me?

For me, I’ve been fighting for something for a long time, and as the time has passed, the battle has gotten more and more intense, and I’ve been waiting for my Jordan River cross-over moment partly so that I can just get some (spiritual) rest! I’ve been waiting to enter into my Promised Land so that I can relax and enjoy the fruit of my labours, but if we look at the story of the Israelites, rest and relaxation were not what waited for them on the other side of the river.

Is it fair though to use the story of the Israelites’ time in the wilderness and in the Promised Land as an analogy for our lives? I’ve always thought so and most preachers seem to agree. If it is, then what are the implications?

Generally speaking, I would imagine that the implications are that I can expect more battles to fight when God gives me what He has promised me. And isn’t that just the truth of life? God is so gracious to give, and we take, with gratitude or without, and we, for whatever reason, have an expectation that NOW things will be easier. Now that I have a better-paying job, now that I have a nicer place to live, now that I have gotten married, now that the kids are out of the house. But is that the right way to look at things? I don't think so.

I've lived long enough now to realize that we will always have battles to fight, in one area of life or another, but in the battles, I think there are some things we need to remember:

 1) God gives us rest when we need it. His Word says that He gives His beloved rest, and some days, it’s hard enough just to get out of bed. He knows that and He gives us grace for that. I believe it because I’ve experienced it!

2) Each battle strengthens us for the next. We go from strength to strength so that we can fight harder and longer and more effectively with each successive battle.

3) We never fight alone. He fights for us! Multiple times His Word proclaims His faithfulness in fighting for us. In addition, there are others around us who fight alongside us. That is part of the beauty of the Body of Christ, that we stand with each other and we encourage each other!

So, for me, I’m beginning to realize that I need to think about entering my Promised Land differently. When God gives me what He has promised me, yes, it will be beautiful, yes it will bear much fruit, yes it will be provision for me, just as it was for the Israelites, but I think I need to realize also that there will still be challenges, there will still be battles to fight, there will still be situations that require great strength. HOWEVER, I know that there are three things I can absolutely rely on in the midst of all that:

1) There is rest to be found even in the midst of the battle.

2) God is continually strengthening me as I fight.

3) I don’t have to do this alone!

It's February Already!

Instead of beginning this blog post with apologies for the fact that I have not posted in over two months (yeah, I know), I'm going to tell you that I have established a goal for myself, along with someone who will keep me accountable, to write TWO blog posts every week! That means for those of you who read my blog, you will get so much more insight into what's going on in my heart, mind and life! Lucky you! (I joke). But God has been doing a lot and I am happy to share what He's been up to in my life and what He's currently challenging me with in my walk with Him. I hope whatever I write, He uses to encourage you!

Since December, I have moved to beautiful Lancashire where the sun shines not so much at this time of year, but when it does, we appreciate it! I now work with the national directors of Pais GB and I love the work I am doing! It's been six weeks since I officially began this role and it has challenged me and I know it will continue to do so. But that's good! It's giving me opportunities to grow, which I need. Praise the Lord!

In addition to all the changes that have already occurred since December (moving, new job, new living situation, new church, new friend-group, new life-rhythm), I feel there are more changes on the horizon. I can't say specifically what they are right now, but God is birthing something new in my life in this season. It has been coming for a long time, and I won't lie, the season I have been in for quite a while hasn't been easy. And that's ok, because life isn't supposed to be easy! But part of the reason it has been challenging is because God has been working in me to prepare me for what He has prepared for me, whatever that is. I don't know exactly what to expect; I just feel there's something different coming, which is very exciting, because I like to see God moving! So, in the coming days, as God does whatever it is He is going to do, I will keep you updated as much as I can. But honestly, probably, a lot of it will be about what He's doing in me and speaking to me and challenging me about as I follow Him on what I believe is a road I've never walked before. So, thank you for your prayers; keep praying for me. Good things are ahead!