On Sunday, one of my friends asked to pray for me at church and he prophesied over me about a new season coming for me, the season of Spring.
Last night, I was at small group and we did a prophetic activity where you take magazines and cut out photos you feel God is highlighting to you in order to create a vision board. The thing is that the vision board isn't for you; it's for someone else in the room, but you don't know who. I'm not going to go into the details of how to do that, but I will say it worked and God was very clearly speaking to us. On the vision board created for me, it had a cloud and the words 'When: Right now,' meant to be reminiscent of when Elijah prayed for rain and finally, his servant saw a cloud the size of a man's hand and very quickly, the rain came and it was a lot of rain!
I've been receiving prophetic words for about a year and a half about experiencing joy upon joy, surprises, a massive gift, and now Spring and rain. I understand them, but I'm having trouble believing them. When you've prayed for something for so long and you cannot see any hint of it on the horizon, it makes sense that your brain would deny that that thing is about to show up in your life. But I don't want my brain to deny it. I want to receive those words and stand on them. I want to be excited about what God has for me and expectant that He will fulfil the desires of my heart. But I'm so tired of disappointment I'm not quite sure how to do that.
Lately I've been in quite a positive place, enjoying life and work and friendships, not thinking much about the future, which is strange for me. I'm usually quite future-oriented, always looking to the next thing. And although there are changes ahead for me which I'm excited about, I'm still very present right now, which is good. I guess what I'm trying to say is, I don't really know how to be present and future oriented. I don't know how to be content with what I have now and excited about what God is saying He will do (despite my lack of vision). Yeah, I just don't really get how to walk in the tension of the now and the not-yet.
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