What She Needs

Tonight as I was putting away the dishes in the kitchen, I started thinking about a friend, her work situation, her friendship situation, how things are going for her at the moment and about what she needs in her life. And then I stopped myself. Normally, I would have let myself continue, pondering what I think is best for her in her life, but tonight was different. As soon as I thought to myself 'She needs _______,' I realized that even though she is my friend, I have no right to decide, even in my own mind, what she needs. She is an adult, a Godly woman who is an active part of the church and our community. There is no reason why I need to determine what she needs in her life.

I think the reason I stopped myself so quickly tonight is because of my own reaction when people think they have the right to decide (& verbalize!) what I need in my life. As much as I know people love me and just want the best for me, they don't always know what that is, even if they think they do. It's kinda funny because, to be honest, I am still trying to figure out ME and it's not always easy. In different seasons I need different things and sometimes, I just need to be left alone to figure out what those things are and given space to try various things to see what works and what doesn't. I'm a complex human being, as we all are, and as I spend more time with myself than anyone else and am the only one inside this body with access to this energy and these thoughts and emotions, I think I probably have a better sense of what I need than anyone else. So, what I need is for people to trust me to know what I need.

And that's the conclusion I came to tonight about my friend, that I need to trust her to know what she needs. Perhaps what I can help her with is providing that for her or helping her get it when she communicates what it is, and I'm happy to do that if I can. I know that I hope others would do the same for me if they too found themselves thinking about what they think I need.