Every day I wrestle with the same decision, to drink more coffee or not. Coffee for me is a comfort drink; it's my security blanket. When I'm uncomfortable, when I'm anxious, when I'm not feeling well, when I'm faced with an obstacle, problem or dilemma, I want that faithful cup of lovely goodness right there with me. When I'm happy, I celebrate with it (Cake cannot be eaten without a cup of coffee). When I'm sad, I console myself with it. When I'm out with friends, it brings an added joy to the experience. When I'm home alone, it keeps me company (and praise God for silent company).
Most days, I stick to my limit, one morning cup and one afternoon cup, but I won't lie, it's not easy saying no. I always want to say yes. Just today, I'll have one more. And I can always find an excuse for a third. Sometimes it's really hard to resist.
Something I've been thinking about for a while now, though, is the fruit of the Holy Spirit, particularly, the last one--self-control. I think this particular fruit is often overlooked because it's at the end of the list, but it's just as important as the others, and actually probably facilitates or leads to some of those listed before it.
As self-control/self-discipline is a fruit of the Holy Spirit, that means that if we are abiding in Christ, then we will be able to grow in demonstrating self-control in our lives, learning to say no to the wrong things and yes to the right things (for me, 'no' to more coffee and 'yes' to some water). This goes for every area of our lives, from how we respond to people around us to the activities we engage in to what we put in our bodies.
I'm not saying it's easy. The struggle is real. But I think we often forget that the blood of Jesus has made a way for us to walk with Him and as we do so, we become more like Him and we begin to display more and more of the fruit of the Holy Spirit, even without necessarily trying at times.
This is the tension though: do I spend time with Him and allow Him to transform me, which is what is truly good for me, or do I give way to the flesh and indulge my desires (another cup, another cup, another cup), which is what feels good at the time but isn't so good for me, especially as I lie awake at 4am because I've had too much caffeine, or perhaps worse, on those rare occasions I can't get my first dose early enough to avoid the massive headache that loudly implies I might be slightly addicted? This is the decision we all face, every day, and it's not a decision that will ever go away in this earthly life.
But praise God, He gives us grace! (Grace, which is not a fruit of the Holy Spirit--think about that!) When we're faced with decisions of the spirit and the flesh, He helps us in our hour of need--no matter how big or small the need. His promise is to always make a way out of temptation, His comfort is that He is always with us, and His truth is that He is always FOR us. So when I think about that, I can lift my eyes to Him, set my mind on Him and allow Him to transform me and make me more like Him. It's His work; I just need to make the decision to let Him do it.
Well, that was surprisingly deep, considering I was only thinking about having another cup of coffee.
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