Eight Months Later

The last time I wrote (eight months ago, my goodness!), I admitted that I had a problem. Well, I am happy to announce that I no longer have that problem!

In March, I really wanted to stay where I was. I loved the opportunity I was in the middle of and could not imagine leaving. Now, eight months later, I cannot imagine what life would be like if I had stayed. I have been through so much since then, both good and bad, and I feel like a completely different person.

I am so grateful for the year I got to spend as a volunteer at a prayer and conference centre in the United Kingdom. East Sussex is a beautiful place, and I was incredibly blessed to get to live there for a short time. It was a gift from the Lord. In addition, living in the community I lived in with the specific people I lived with, I learned so much about myself and about others. I was taken care of, cooked for, listened to, invested in, and at the same time, I was challenged and forced to grow. Looking back, as in anything probably, there are things I would do differently. I have memories that I cherish and memories that I don't. But in it all,  I am grateful for everything the Lord taught me through that experience.

Although it broke my heart to leave, and the simplest word to describe my time since then is HARD (which is a gross understatement), I know it was exactly the right time for me to go, and I am glad I left when I did. My heart, however, has longed to go back to the United Kingdom, as that is where my heart truly lies. So for months I prayed, asking the Lord to open the door for me to return, to serve His Kingdom in the United Kingdom.

But first, He had to do a work in my heart. He had to bring me to the place of saying, "Put me anywhere." I know beyond a doubt that He exactly arranged my circumstances since coming back from England to bring me to the point where I would be willing to do anything or go anywhere He called me. I believe He wanted my desire to serve Him and His Kingdom to be so great that it did not matter to me where it was. And little by little, He brought me to that place. I finally hit it. He broke me, and I cried out just to be in the centre of His will for my life, whatever that meant. All I wanted was to be a tool, a vessel, to bring Him glory, and I was, indeed, willing to go wherever He called me. So I summoned all the courage I had and asked Him to put me in the best place possible for me, knowing it could be anywhere...

And then, He spoke.

And He said ENGLAND.