International Blessings

About this time of year, I start to get creative. Or rather, I want to do something creative. So, feeling that stirring, I picked a project, which slowly unfolded and became something that I wouldn't have imagined when I started. It was cute and simple, easy and inexpensive, and most importantly--creative and unique. I ended up making several of these small gifts, we'll call them tokens of appreciation, and as I did so, I thought about who I would want to send them to, asking myself: who in my life is important and who would I like to bless and encourage with these small tokens? Interestingly enough, most of the people I thought of ended up being amazing friends I met in England. So, once my little project was finished, I high-tailed it to the local post office where I filled out custom form after custom form and paid an arm and a leg to send 8 four-ounce envelopes to 6 different countries which means tomorrow I'm going to have to sell a kidney or two. But the whole time I was making them, I was thinking how grateful I am for these friends around the world, strong, Godly women I was blessed to have met and spend time with and who I hope I will continue to be friends with forever, despite the distance. They have each touched my life, encouraging me and challenging me. I consider each of them such a gift. and I am thankful for them.

There is one friend in particular I've been thinking about and praying for a little more than the others recently. She is my new hero. I met her in January of this year and immediately was jealous of her. I knew from the minute I saw her that she would be amazing. And of course I was right. What amazes me about her is that over the past several months I have watched her say "no" to something I know she wanted because she wanted the will of the Lord for her life more, and that is, I believe, one of the hardest things to do in this life. There was something that she wanted, and could very easily have had, but before diving into it, she stopped and decided to pray, asking the Lord what His heart for her was. At this point, she is now experiencing loss, not receiving what she wanted (and even losing the valued bit that she had). However, she continues to look to the Lord. She knows that what He has for her is better than what she wanted. But her heart is still broken, and she continues to grieve her loss.

This is what amazes me. This is what I strive for. This is my heart for myself and for everyone else. And this is what I believe the Lord wants. Not that we would never be happy or have what we want, but that we would say, just as He said in the garden, "Not my will, but Yours be done." This is what pleases Him. It may very well break our hearts, but it is in the brokenness that He comes to us and shows us who He is. This is where depth and strength come from. This is where character is made, and from that springs hope, the anchor of the soul.

This is just one story. Each of these women have their own stories, and each are equally important and unique. They are such gifts to me and I am so thankful for these international blessings.

Trusting

My visa has arrived! In my mind, my default-to-negative-thinking mind (really must work on that), that is one less thing to go wrong before I leave. That is one less thing to hinder me from going. Is anyone else like this? I'm sure I'm not alone as I admit that when I am presented with an amazing opportunity like this, I really do look around and attempt to spot anything that could thwart it from coming to be. I suppose I am afraid to get my hopes up. I am afraid I will get too excited and it won't happen, for whatever reason. I don't want to be disappointed. But last time I got to go. Why would this time be any different? I don't know, but I'm still looking out for anything that might stand in the way of me going where I want to go.

Yes, I said "me going where I want to go." I have prayed and prayed and prayed about this. I knocked on every door, and every door opened. As I approached the intersection of each obstacle, every light turned green and every obstacle moved, so I got to keep going. But what if, as I approach this last intersection, the light turns red? What if it doesn't happen? I'm not anticipating that, but I don't want to be like the makers of the Titanic who boasted "God Himself could not sink this ship." If, for some reason, this is not the Lord's heart for me and at 11:59pm He says "no," what will I do? How will I respond? Will I be offended and angry that I spent so much time, effort and money investing in something that just didn't turn out? It wouldn't be the first time. Or will I look to the Lord and say, "I don't know what You're doing, but I trust You anyway?" I hope it would be the latter. But more than that, I hope I don't have that test to pass at this point. I hope to be on my way to my beloved country in 16 days and 2 1/2 hours, and I am trusting the Lord to continue to open every door that needs to be opened between now and then.

Going Home

Today is the day I start counting the days, the days I have left, that is. 18 if you care. My visa has been issued, printed and shipped. My plane ticket has been paid for (why are they so expensive??). And my belongings are scattered all over the guest room of my parents' house, waiting to be organized into piles of "what stays" and "what goes."

The last time I left for England I, probably quite foolishly, tried to take clothes for a year. Now I know better. Now I know Primark. England is not another planet; it is entirely possible to buy stuff there. Go figure. I actually miss British stores, Primark, Tesco, Asda, Boots, HMV, etc. and cannot wait to hit them up again. Actually, now that I think about it, I could just take a half-empty suitcase and go shopping when I get there...or better yet, fill the suitcase with books and still go shopping when I get there. You know, random fact, when I went to England in 2012, I took 2 books with me. Before I left, I had 50. Yes, 50. I blame the charity shops--the books are so cheap! This time I think I will take a few more books (just a few) and fewer clothes, but warm clothes. Being in Northwest England in January, I know it will be cold and rainy. Yes, warm clothes and a few books will essentially be what I take with me in two and a half weeks when I leave.

When I leave. It's still sinking in that I am actually going...sometimes it doesn't feel like I'm going. It feels too good to be true. I am afraid I find myself waiting for the other shoe to drop, but it hasn't dropped yet. My departure date is approaching, and as it does, the whole idea, the future that lies before me is becoming more and more real to me. When I leave. I am leaving. I am going home, not to the land of my birth, but to the place that makes more sense to me than anywhere else on this earth, the place I feel more comfortable and more at ease, the place where my heart truly lies, home. England. Yes, I am going home.

The Waiting Room

Everybody knows this room. Everyone, at one point or another, has had to wait. I often think waiting is one of God's favorite tools to getting us where He wants us--the point of maturity. There are other tools He employs, of course, but compared to some that are downright painful (suffering, chastisement), I'm certainly ok with waiting.

Currently I am looking forward to a couple different things--receiving details regarding my specific placement in England (If you're wondering why I haven't told you about that yet, it's simply because I don't know), the approval and arrival of my visa and the day my plane takes off--and I find myself again in the oh-so-familiar waiting room.

So, as we all spend time there, the question remains: what do you do while you're in the waiting room? The are several options. You could complain about the whole situation and count the minutes as they tick by. That will surely make your friends want to hang out with you more. You could waste time with meaningless, frivolous activities. And honestly, I have found myself slipping into that option at times. Or you could embrace the challenge. What is the challenge? To wait well.

How do we wait well? Well, first, we stop whining, complaining, and wasting, and then we make a conscious effort to turn our waiting room into a work room. I won't lie--that's not my idea. I stole it from a preacher's wife. But she's absolutely right. The best thing to do as you wait is to get to work. It doesn't matter what you're waiting for--next week to arrive, your prince to show up or the day you get to retire--working makes the waiting pass faster. And better than that, it's productive! You can wait and work and make the time count in the process. You can be effective while you wait. We are all in the waiting room, to one degree or another. We have all come through one door just to wait to go through another. So let's wait well and make the passage from door to door significant.