Pressed into Truth

Do you remember the post I wrote last week, Overlooked and Unconsidered?

Yesterday, during part of our ministry training, we had some space to pray for each other, and I felt like God was saying to me, 'You know how you feel? This guy over here, it's the same with him,' and the whole half hour, I couldn't shake that off me. Normally, I would go share what God said to me about someone with that person, but I wasn't willing to in the moment because I didn't have the solution; I couldn't find the encouragement in it.

So I said back to God, 'Ok, but what's the answer?' I thought, maybe we're both experiencing this, but how is it in any way encouraging for me to say that to him? If I asked him if he felt like this too, and he said yes, what was I suppose to say to that? 'Uh, me too. Sucks, right?' That's all I had.

As the conversation with God continued, though, He gave me some insight. He told me it's a safety check. Feeling overlooked and unconsidered, not receiving the recognition and praise of man where I perhaps think I should or would like to, is meant to keep my heart in alignment with His. It begs the question, 'WHY am I doing this? WHO am I doing this for?' I have to keep reminding myself, I stand before an audience of One and I am here to bring Him glory, not to make a name for myself. Any gifts I have were given to me by God and they aren't gifts for me; they're for the Body and they're for the lost.

So that's what I shared with this guy, although nowhere near as clearly as I've written it here. To be honest, I don't think I would have pushed into hearing God's heart about this had I not felt someone else was experiencing the same thing. I would have simply left the complaint on His doorstep, content with trying not to feel sorry for myself. How kind of God to press me on it (He did; I really couldn't shake it), wanting to share truth with me, rather than just allowing the conversation to trail off without me understanding part of His heart for me in it. His words have brought me such clarity and peace and I'm really thankful for that.

In re-reading my previous post and considering some of the people who I believe are easily overlooked--a lot of us are background people; we're not in your face, we're not forceful, we just get on with what we've been given to do. And my encouragement to you is, if you know someone like this, encourage them! Let them know that what they contribute is significant! Help them feel like they're seen and heard and appreciated for who they are and what God has put inside them. And don't just say it; think about how you can action it. One of the best compliments is when someone asks me to use one of my gifts to help them!

Here's a short video I found today from Paul Scanlon about the value of hidden seasons. It encouraged me in this so I hope it will encourage you if and when you find yourself in that season.

Healing on the Streets

Yahweh is a healer. I know that. He is Jehovah Rapha. But what happened today was not what I was expecting.

Here's the story, with a little bit of important background:

Two weeks ago I moved to the north coast of Ireland! I am able to continue doing the work I've been doing with Pais, work I love so much, and I get to be part of a great Vineyard church. The church here have their own internship, and I get to participate in that as well. In addition to the teaching sessions for this internship, we have opportunities to do outreach each week in the city. My host has a huge passion for something they do called 'Healing on the Streets,' and being curious to experience this, I asked if I could tag along and do outreach with them today.

At 10:30 this morning, the Healing on the Streets team set out 6 chairs and a banner, we gathered to pray, and then we were open for business. The church have been doing Healing on the Streets every Saturday for 12 years, so the town is used to this happening. People all over the city know it happens every week, and people from other areas around Northern Ireland will drive, sometimes hours, to be prayed for here.

The idea is simple. People who need physical healing come, they sit in the chairs, we ask how we can pray for them, and we pray. Nothing weird or fantastical, just the simple power of prayer in the middle of the town centre. It's beautiful.

During a lull in our prayer time this morning, the team gave me the opportunity to receive prayer, partly so I could experience it for myself from the other side, but also, I had a physical need I wanted prayer for.

I don't even know when it happened, but I know the first time I experienced it I was about 12. There was something wrong with my back, and at that young age, it 'went out' for about three days. The pain came out of the blue one day at school. I was getting my massive stack of textbooks from my locker, and all of a sudden, I couldn't move. My mom, the nurse, put me on bedrest and anti-inflammatories for three days and it seemed to be fine after that. But for some years now, I've found that if I stood too long without walking or sitting, especially in bad shoes, pain would flair up in my back again and I would be in agony. I learned how to deal with it, what would set it off and how to manage it, but to be honest, it had become a hindrance, and it was painful!

So this morning, my host and one of the leaders sat before me as I sat in the chair, and the leader asked me some questions about the pain. She made me stretch out my legs in front of her, wondering aloud if my problem was sciatica. When I stretched out my legs and compared them, they looked normal to me, like they always had. I didn't see anything wrong. But when she prayed, and I put my feet down on the ground and then stretched them out again, I saw that my left leg had been a tiny bit shorter than my right leg. Now, I know this happens frequently; one leg will appear shorter than the other, and it's an issue of alignment with the body, but I never suspected this was my problem. But right there before my eyes I saw how my feet aligned where they hadn't before. The leader asked me to get up and walk on it, and it felt different. In fact, for the rest of the afternoon, I could feel a difference in my entire leg and in my hip and I found myself even walking differently on the way home. It was such a blessing and I am so relieved and thankful to not have that pain and hindrance affecting me anymore!

Yep, our God is a healer!

Overlooked and Unconsidered

Blessed are you when people overlook you and constantly forget to consider you. 

That’s not in the Sermon on the Mount, but perhaps it should be. Perhaps if God wrote a Sermon on the Mount particularly addressed to me, that would be in there. This is something I feel I’ve always experienced and am really getting to the point where enough is enough. I’m tired of being overlooked and unconsidered. The problem is, I don’t know what to do about it. I’m not a particularly loud or forceful person (unless I’m laughing), which is perhaps why it’s sometimes so easy for people to forget about me or what I contribute or add value to. I'm mostly a background kind of person, and that’s ok with me so far as not receiving public recognition for what I do. I don’t need that. But when it comes to people remembering that I do actually contribute significant things to what we're doing together and should be considered in decisions that are made, I feel like they often don’t until I say something. But why is that? 

In my pity party as I was processing feeling overlooked and unconsidered recently, my mind did actually turn to Isaiah 53. It says that ‘we esteemed Him not.’ The NLT says ‘We turned our backs on Him and looked the other way…we did not care.’ But I know this passage and that’s not all it says we did or that He endured. Suffice it to say, my pity party was cut short. That does not mean, however, that my feelings were not valid. They were. It simply means, He endured more, therefore I could (and can!) endure this. 

So, what do I do about this? I don't know. The only practical advice I can give myself right now is to use it, to take the realisation that I don’t like how I feel when others overlook me or don’t consider me when they make decisions and do my best to intentionally consider and appreciate those around me.

Any thoughts?